kaitou: (Default)
Dear Amazon.com Customer,

Customers who have purchased or rated The Adventures of Young Indiana Jones, Volume One - The Early Years might like to know that Motion Design Acrobatic Yoga Tutorial Volume 1 is now available.

Oi, oi, oi

Oh Amazon.

May. 11th, 2009 08:42 am
kaitou: (Not Being Seen)
Amazon, you really need to take some lessons from Netflix.

Here's one of YOUR suggestions:
Dear Amazon.com Customer,
As someone who has purchased or rated The Empire Of Tea by Alan Macfarlane, you might like to know that Value Chain Struggles: Institutions and Governance in the Plantation Districts of South India (RGS-IBG Book Series) is now available. You can order yours for just $89.95 by following the link below.


Whereas here are the categories Netflix has created just for me:

  • Foreign Children and Family Movies

  • Movies Starring Cary Grant

  • Feel-good TV Shows

  • Critically Acclaimed Witty Comedies

  • British Crime Movies


THAT's how it's done.
kaitou: (merlin)
I think Amazon has actually recced me a book that I'm actually interested in reading. Will wonders never cease?

Dear Amazon.com Customer,
We've noticed that customers who have purchased or rated Stolen Masterpiece Tracker by Thomas McShane have also purchased The Art of the Heist: Confessions of a Master Art Thief, Rock-and-Roller, and Prodigal Son by Myles J. Connor. For this reason, you might like to know that The Art of the Heist: Confessions of a Master Art Thief, Rock-and-Roller, and Prodigal Son will be released on April 21, 2009.

Oh for...

Jan. 27th, 2009 07:24 am
kaitou: (merlin)
Dear Amazon.com Customer,
We've noticed that customers who have purchased or rated books by Hisaya Nakajo have also purchased Zatch Bell!, Volume 23 (Zatch Bell (Graphic Novels)) by Makoto Raiku. For this reason, you might like to know that Zatch Bell!, Volume 23 (Zatch Bell (Graphic Novels)) will be released on February 10, 2009. You can pre-order yours by following the link below.

Yes, because if I gravitate towards ridiculously girly manga where every drawing is like a fashion plate, I obviously want to read Zatch Bell.

And stop telling me about Blu-Ray DVDs! When, as a Dear Amazon.com Customer, have I ever indicated that I have a player!?
kaitou: (monkeys)
I appreciate that you like to recommend things. But unlike Netflix, which often suggests things that I enjoy...like Rough Science, or Three Sheets (more posts about these later) you send me e-mail like this...

Dear Amazon.com Customer,
We've noticed that customers who have purchased or rated North by Northwest have also purchased Harlequin: The Waiting Game on DVD. For this reason, you might like to know that Harlequin: The Waiting Game will be released on January 20, 2009. You can pre-order yours by following the link below

Now, North by Northwest is a classic. It's CARY GRANT. It's HITCHCOCK. So what's this Harlequin?

"College friends Sarah Frazer (Chandra West, I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry) and Amy Fuentes (Paula Abdul, TV's American Idol) become the center of a seductive conspiracy when Sarah's Uncle Lowell unexpectedly visits their art gallery. Claiming he has a gift from a recent vacation to Mexico, Lowell insists Sarah visit his estate. But when Sarah arrives there, Adrian, a handsome stranger who claims he knows Lowell, is waiting. Meanwhile, Carl, a real estate investor, has Amy coughing up clues on Lowell's whereabouts. Both Sarah and Amy fall for the mysterious men, but neither Carl nor Adrian is who they say they are, and the women may be no more than pawns in their game of deception."

One of these things does NOT EQUAL THE OTHER. Seriously, Amazon, you need to step up your game.
kaitou: (Default)
Dear Amazon.com Customer,

As someone who has shown an interest in holiday dinnerware, you might like to know about the following offer:


Amazon, I would like to know WHEN ON EARTH I was ever interested in holiday dinnerware.

I mean really!
kaitou: (Default)
Dear Amazon.com Customer,
We've noticed that customers who have purchased or rated The Lord of the Rings - The Fellowship of the Ring (Platinum Series Special Extended Edition Collector's Gift Set) or other films in the Fully Loaded DVDs > Extended Editions category have also purchased The Cheetah Girls - One World (Extended Music Edition) on DVD. For this reason, you might like to know that The Cheetah Girls - One World (Extended Music Edition) will be released on December 16, 2008. You can pre-order yours at a savings of $10.00 by following the link below
.

Say WHAT?
kaitou: (sad moustache man)
Dear Amazon.com Customer,

We've noticed that customers who have purchased or rated The Adventures of Young Indiana Jones, Volume One - The Early Years have also purchased Math in Our Lives: Measuring-Metric (Home Use) on DVD. For this reason, you might like to know that Math in Our Lives: Measuring-Metric (Home Use) is now available. You can order yours for just $17.99 by following the link below.

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