Battle of the Bug

I've been doing pretty well keeping my apartment clean. It might not always be tidy, but I'm not letting the dishes rot in the kitchen or anything. So the other night when I went to bed I was horrified to see a big bug crawl right under a sock on the floor. BIG bug. I'm fairly cool in the face of snakes, lizards and small mammals. But bugs....ewwugh. So I came back out to the living room and panicked for about half an hour. I have no bug spray. There was always the shoe method, but that meant getting close to the bug. And of course, the possibility that I would piss it off and then it would crawl up my arms and eat my eyes.

Or something like that. You know.

I thought about drowning it in cleaner, but I was afraid it would stain the carpet. Mom suggested hairspray when I IM'ed her. But I don't have aerosol hairspray, just the spritzing kind. I was trying to be good to the environment. Good for the environment, bad for bug killing.

Eventually I pulled on my thick winter gloves, armed myself with a steel-toed work boot, grabbed the bottle of Formula 409 and went in to do battle. I dropped a shoe on the sock hiding the bug, to force him from his cotton fox-hole. But it didn't work. The bug had run away. Osama bug Ladin. I did *not* get a good night's rest.

So the next day I found him. Stunned him with the kitchen cleaner and beat the shit out of him with my shoe. Ha. Take that.

I miss my Japanese silly-string bug killer.