If you worked in Manufacturing this would all be Hilarious

[kaitou]

I have to agree with twigcollins and thorne_scratch that the ocean is probably your best bet to survive zombie attacks. Unless there's a zombie ON your ship, in which case you may well be screwed.

But if you're in a land-locked state...especially along I-75, your best bet to survive a zombie attack is a manufacturing plant. Preferably one that deals in metals and not plastics. You'd think that pushing a zombie into a vat of melted plastic would be the perfect solution, but from what I hear you have to get everything just right to get a good mold, and if you're running from zombies, you probably won't have the eye for detail that you normally would.

No, I may be a bit biased, but I think you want to go for a company that works with steel. Once you're in head for the Quality department. (if the company has an QS 9000 or TS 16949 certification the Receiving Inspection department may also be a good bet. They tend to keep the whole department in an easily defensible steel cage.)

Because seriously, I have got the hookup when it comes to nontraditional weapons. There are digital calipers which are nice and pointy. We have one pair that's about three feet long. It's like a cricket bat with knives attached... Take THAT rotting corpses!

The welding department sound like a good plan, but for the most part you're going to be out of luck. Robot welders aren't very useful unless you can get the zombie set up in the jig...and if there are quality sensors, they may shut down the system, thinking that a zombie head is really an upside down weld nut. But the items you weld may be just the ticket, if you're welding long pipe, for instance.

But really, the REAL reason you want to go for a manufacturing plant is THIS. This is an awesome zombie crushing weapon of mass proportion.

Comments

[edwired.livejournal.com]

You are so right about that, however did you consider the industrial air compressors that are there? Slap a piece of hose on the end of a quick throw valve and a box of welding rod can be lethal, um, they're already dead... Useful then. Oh, and if the zombie is on your boat, just get it to fall overboard with a daring piece of bait that can get out of the way fast. Zombies sink.

later