**sheepish grin** I can trade you weird psych-patient autopsy report stories... I work for a company that handles mental health patients, and I deal with what're called 'adverse events', reported via this little chunk of paperwork known as a CIR (critical incident report). I deal with a lot of deaths; mental health clients tend to die in bizarre ways (unless elderly dementia patients, in which case it's frequently pneumonia or heart trouble). So far, the Top Weird Deaths have been as follows: 1. A guy who managed to, well, let's just say that he found a new and squickworthy use for a toilet-scrubbrush. 'Not To Be Taken Internally' should've been printed on the handle, that's for damn sure. You really don't want the details. 2. A guy who threw himself through a church window. You know how in movies people just crash through 'em and keep going? Not so. Stained glass causes NASTY cuts, as does the metal surrounding it. Bleeding to death tends to be the outcome. 3. A poor man who was out walking his dog across a train-trestle bridge and who stopped to talk to some kids; he sat down on the railing while doing so... without noticing that a piece of the railing happened to be missing. 30-foot drop. Dunno if the dog went with him. 4. Train-suicides in general. If by any chance someone out there wishes to exit this world in a quiet, orderly, unmessy and dignified fashion, do NOT fling yourself and/or stand in front of an oncoming train (a favorite suicide-method of the local mental health population). Can we say 'disembowelment AND dismemberment, splash'? 5. Hanging one's self with a rope in front of one's church. Now THERE'S a statement. Erk. 6. You'd think that taking a teenager who had made suicide attempts in the past to a shooting range on their birthday would be a bad thing, wouldn't you? I think you can see where this one's going. 7. Death by suffocation during an exorcism. I kid you not. Happened down in Mexico, but the client lived locally so I dealt with it. Aaack.
Eeeeeew. Yes, my days get to be a bit weird now and then...
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1. A guy who managed to, well, let's just say that he found a new and squickworthy use for a toilet-scrubbrush. 'Not To Be Taken Internally' should've been printed on the handle, that's for damn sure. You really don't want the details.
2. A guy who threw himself through a church window. You know how in movies people just crash through 'em and keep going? Not so. Stained glass causes NASTY cuts, as does the metal surrounding it. Bleeding to death tends to be the outcome.
3. A poor man who was out walking his dog across a train-trestle bridge and who stopped to talk to some kids; he sat down on the railing while doing so... without noticing that a piece of the railing happened to be missing. 30-foot drop. Dunno if the dog went with him.
4. Train-suicides in general. If by any chance someone out there wishes to exit this world in a quiet, orderly, unmessy and dignified fashion, do NOT fling yourself and/or stand in front of an oncoming train (a favorite suicide-method of the local mental health population). Can we say 'disembowelment AND dismemberment, splash'?
5. Hanging one's self with a rope in front of one's church. Now THERE'S a statement. Erk.
6. You'd think that taking a teenager who had made suicide attempts in the past to a shooting range on their birthday would be a bad thing, wouldn't you? I think you can see where this one's going.
7. Death by suffocation during an exorcism. I kid you not. Happened down in Mexico, but the client lived locally so I dealt with it. Aaack.
Eeeeeew. Yes, my days get to be a bit weird now and then...